Congrats!!!
Now you can be a Walmart greeter! 
I didn't pass the audition...
"Whoa! The diet-aids aisle is that way!"
"Sorry, lady, The Ugly Baby Contest is next week."
"Matching neck tattoos - how romantic!"
"Got the munchies, huh?"
"When are you due? Oh, sorry, sir."
"Here, you're gonna need a shopping cart. Any two of those have the same father?"

Being retired is my favorite job so far.