Yeah, I totally get it, 100%. I’ve been there myself, trying this and that, sometimes feeling good about it at times, only to realize that it was merely shadows of real progress. I got sick of it and decided to get real about my playing and get legit! My solution was to play with others, and to play live. There ain’t nothing more transparent than playing with others, nothing that keeps you more honest than a good drummer, and nothing like an audience that keeps your music and playing real. At least for me.
The other thing I also came to realize is that we simply have good and bad days as players. I used to get frustrated when I couldn’t “get it,” but have long since learned that “it will come” with time, objective self critique, and yet another day to try. Then it happens: it sounds and feel right! Patience meets persistence!
I appreciate you sharing, particularly your original post. The cliche is actually real: music is a journey and we know not where it takes us, let alone know its distinct paths. But stick at it and we will come to enjoy the fruits, and the journey brings us joy. Thanks for unloading that …as well as the celebration!!
Edward