WRONG DATE—I have a friend who paid $4,800 each for a pair of tickets to the Super Bowl. That was before he realized that it was the same day as his wedding, so now he can’t go. If you are interested and would like to take his place, call 555-123-4567. It starts at 4:00, and the address is 8910 Church Street. Her name is Tiffany. She’ll be the one in white.
LIFE’S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS -
I still haven't found out who let the Dogs Out…
Where's the beef…
How to get to Sesame Street...
Why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps…
Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop… Why eggs are packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that's tough as nails, yet light bulbs too are in a flimsy carton...
Ever buy scissors? You need scissors to cut into the packaging of scissors...
I still don't understand why there is Braille on drive up ATM's, or why "abbreviated" is such a long word; or why is there a D in 'fridge' but not in refrigerator...
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons...
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections...
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" where's that extra penny going (This one’s easy: tax!)...
Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune...
Why did you just try to sing those two songs to check...
Just what is Victoria's secret?...
Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways, but heaven help you if you try to drive on a Driving Range!...
I know how they make lemon oil and olive oil, but the very thought of baby oil gives me the willies!...
Why is there an ‘o’ in the word "people?"...
Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?...
Is my friend right to be afraid to go see her shrink because the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?...
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?...
On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?...
Do pigs ever pull their ham strings?...
Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?…
Why do people say heads up when what they mean is for you to duck?...
Or are they just being mean?...
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?...
Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a time clock? Aren't ALL clocks "time" clocks?...
What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?...
If you have x-ray vision, and see through anything, wouldn't you bump into everything?...
How can a house burn up and down at the same time, any why does ‘slow up’ and ‘slow down’ mean the same thing?...
Are all ex-cowboys deranged?...
Do ex-drycleaners become depressed?...
How in the world do you throw away a garbage can?...
Why are things typed up but written down?...
What color does a Smurf feel when they are down?...
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?...
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?...
Have ex-bankers become disinterested?...
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?...
Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?...
Do mathematicians have to quit when they become dysfunctional?...
When you become an ex-punsters are you simply expunged?
Hey, you asked for it!!
cotten
