Author Topic: Guitar joke thread....  (Read 12316 times)

dcarey

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2011, 12:24:25 PM »
I went to Guitar Center last weekend to pick up some strings and stupidly left my banjo in the back seat of my unlocked car.






When I came out, there were four more banjos in the back seat  ::)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

bo1142

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2011, 08:58:29 PM »
What should you do if you run over a banjo?



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not darth

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2011, 11:07:56 AM »
Student:  Teacher, teacher, I'm having troubles with open tunings, I'm so upset, whatever shall I do?



Teacher:  There, there, don't fret.
 :P
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Guitar Rodeo

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2011, 02:48:10 PM »
How can you tell if the stage is level? If the guitar player drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Why do some people take an instant aversion to guitar players? It saves time in the long run.

How can you tell if there's a guitar player at your door?
They can't find the key, the knocking speeds up, and they don't know when to come in.

Yes, these are actually modified banjo jokes, but see how easily they convert?
Jim Tordoff
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Scriptor

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2011, 03:44:38 PM »
Neither a guitar or banjo joke but I heard this one at an Irish Christmas Concert this past weekend ... lots of acoustic instruments on the stage and a great evening ...

The guitar player was referring to one of the other musicians in good fun and said:

"He spends half his time tuning and the other half playing out of tune" ...
-- Scriptor

Featured demo: http://www.ricklangdon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/58-Weeping-in-Ramah-mix-2.mp3

For more very simple demos of original music recorded with Taylor guitars: http://www.ricklangdon.com

Iplay2

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2011, 04:44:53 PM »

Yes, these are actually modified banjo jokes, but see how easily they convert?

I sense hostilities from somewhere in Minnesota..... lol

Just kidding.  This video sums up everything you need to know about Jim and Guitar Rodeo.  His crazy banjo love is explained well at 1:50 in the video.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6908583/guitar-rodeo-advertisement

andyi5

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2011, 05:35:08 PM »
What's the difference between a banjo and a ukelele?

Takes twice as long to burn a banjo...!

cotten

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #22 on: December 20, 2011, 01:54:28 AM »
A banjo player wanted to join a local civic orchestra. Of course, there's no banjo part in most symphonic music, but they did need a percussionist. So they took away his banjo and gave him a couple of sticks and various things to hit. It didn't go well. Oh, he could keep time just fine, it's just that he was accustomed to being ten times louder than any other instrument, even all the others combined.

Plus, despite his down home, folksy way of talking, it was clear to everyone that he felt his knowledge of how the music (most of which he'd never even heard) was vastly superior to everyone else in the group. To him, everything they played was either too fast or too slow, too bass heavy or too dependent on the violins. Nothing suited him, and he was quick to let everyone know, in no uncertain terms.

It got so bad that the conductor quit, and everyone else was about to, when a 76-yr. old former professional trombonist came up with a suggestion they could all live with. They gave the banjo player back one of his sticks and made him the Conductor.

cotten


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rudals1281

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< > Joke Thread....
« Reply #23 on: December 20, 2011, 02:33:06 PM »
Here's a bad joke that isn't about guitars. I hope I don't get censored. I heard it from my boss at our Christmas party and thought it was a bit clever so thought I share.

A man, who loved guitars too much (not in original joke - improv), forgot to get his wife something for their 25th wedding anniversary. The man finally realized what he had done and went to his wife begging for her forgiveness. The wife replied, "I WANT YOU TO GET ME SOMETHING THAT WILL GO FROM 0 TO 200 IN FIVE SECONDS OR LESS AND HAVE IT FOR ME INFRONT OF THE GARAGE BY TOMORROW MORNING!!!!" The wife wakes up the next morning and in front of the garage there it was! A scale.
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Guitar Rodeo

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2011, 03:59:43 PM »
Okay, its about time the fiddlers got some too...

How can you tell the difference between all the fiddle tunes?
They each have a different name.

What's the difference between a fiddle and a Harley Davidson Motorcycle?
You can tune a Harley.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
Jim Tordoff
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Specializing in Taylor, Santa Cruz, Carmel, Morris, Huss & Dalton and Breedlove Guitars
http://www.guitarrodeo.com
877 487-6336

michaelw

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2011, 03:00:34 AM »
Okay, its about time the fiddlers got some too...

How can you tell the difference between all the fiddle tunes?
They each have a different name.

What's the difference between a fiddle and a Harley Davidson Motorcycle?
You can tune a Harley.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
not really a joke (perhaps unintentional), but i was just wondering what is the difference between a violin & a fiddle -
i believe that the bridges are slightly different in appearance, but is it the way/style in which it is played,
or the type of music that's played on either (violin music or fiddle tunes) ...  any, all, none or other ???
it's not about what you play,
it's all about why you play ...

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Scriptor

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2011, 03:14:29 PM »
not really a joke (perhaps unintentional), but i was just wondering what is the difference between a violin & a fiddle -
i believe that the bridges are slightly different in appearance, but is it the way/style in which it is played,
or the type of music that's played on either (violin music or fiddle tunes) ...  any, all, none or other ???


A fiddle and a violin are the same physical instrument ... it's about approach and not about the instrument itself (although some fiddlers do modify the bridge in order to more easily play double-stops (two strings at a time))
-- Scriptor

Featured demo: http://www.ricklangdon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/58-Weeping-in-Ramah-mix-2.mp3

For more very simple demos of original music recorded with Taylor guitars: http://www.ricklangdon.com

Dpoirier

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #27 on: January 01, 2012, 08:28:49 PM »
At a convention for acoustic guitar players, everyone is sitting around looking at each other's fancy custom built high end guitars, when suddenly a guy walks in with a banjo case. He strolls inside the group, opens the banjo case and pulls out a machine gun, and loudly proclaims: "all right, hand over all these high-end guitars, this is a hold-up!!!"

One of the players hands over his one-of-a-kind $23K Linda Manzer acoustic, and whispers softly to his neighbor: "Phew, for a minute there, I thought he was going to play that banjo!"
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dcarey

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2012, 12:37:29 PM »
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Bsg-apollo

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Re: Guitar joke thread....
« Reply #29 on: January 06, 2012, 10:12:39 AM »
This reminds me of a Mark Twain Quote:

" A gentleman is a man that can play the banjo, but doesn't "
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