Budding amateur guitarist decides to try his hand at performing, and offers to do a gig at the local convalescent home. After a short performance he was wrapping up and spoke to a person in a chair on the front. "I hope you get better soon" said the guitarist with a smile. "I hope you get better soon aswell " said the patient.
A guitarist wins the lottery. A friend asks what he's going to do with his winnings. He replied " I'm gonna keep gigging until the money runs out."
Young Johnny decides he wants to learn bass, and after some pleading talks his mom into it. So they go to the local music store to buy him a bass rig and sign him up for bass lessons with Bob the bass teacher. First lesson: Bob, "Johnny, you see that thickest string on the top? That's the E string. Hit it! .....Good. Now go home and practice that and I'll see you next week." One week later... second lesson: Bob, "Hi Johnny, how did your practice go?" Johnny, "Fine." Bob, "Great! Now you see that second biggest string right below the E string? That's the A string. Hit it! ... Good. Now go home and practice that and I'll see you next week." Next week Bob waits for Johnny, and he doesn't show. Finally he calls and Johnny's mom answers, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I should have called you. Johnny joined a band and is out on tour."
A guitarist, a bass player, and a drummer are all riding in a car together. Who is the driver? The cop.
The guy in the next apartment came banging on my door at 2:30 in the morning. 2:30!! Lucky for him I was still up, practicing my bagpipes.
A doctor, lawyer and musician die in a car crash and find themselves outside the pearly gates before St. Peter.
St. Pete to the doctor: "Why should I let you into heaven?"
Doctor: "I devoted my life to curing the ill, healing the wounded and improving the quality life of all those that sought my services."
St. Pete: "Welcome to heaven" and the pearly gates open with angels lining the golden road playing trumpets to welcome the newcomer in joyous celebration.
St. Pete to the lawyer: "Why should I let you into heaven?"
Lawyer: "I devoted my life to justice for all, defending the rights of individuals, and improving the quality of life for all those that sought my services."
St. Pete: "Welcome to heaven" and the pearly gates open with angels lining the golden road playing trumpets to welcome the newcomer in joyous celebration.
St. Pete to the musician: "Why should I let you into heaven?"
Musician: "I devoted my live to the celebration of life itself through the magic of song and dance and improved the quality of life for all those that sought my services."
St. Pete: "Welcome to heaven. To enter please use the loading dock in back, go through the kitchen and take the freight elevator to the third floor........"
Why are violins bigger than violas?
They're actually the same size. It's just that violinist's heads are bigger.
What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? Vibrato.
Why is it that sound guys, when performing mic checks, can count no higher than three? This is not a joke, I really want to know!
Did you hear about the guitarist who lost his livelihood in a car accident? It was a Fender bender.
What's the difference between a country music guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A country music guitarist plays 4 chords for 40,000 people, and a jazz guitarist plays 40,000 chords for 4 people!
cotten