Why I Need Another Guitar

[mgap]

Each time I acquire another guitar my wife and I engage in yet another discussion about the reasons to maintain more than "one".  I thought it may be interesting to hear how you folks describe the "need" when discussing it with your significant other.

Other than listening, my wife is not musical in any way. Fact is she doesn't like me spending time playing/practicing. So I have that as an "extra" challenge.

My last guitar caused an in-depth discussion of tonewoods which she found interesting but, in the end, didn't really sway her at all.

Just curious ... how do you all approach this with your spouse?

I bet you have this conversation often

[Pady]

My wife does not mind my playing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I give her all the money, which she then puts into a savings account for Christmas. If I need a piece of gear I will either sell something to finance it or just go out and buy it. I work quite a bit so I can justify the purchases.

Pady

[cigarfan]

Since you already tried the tonewood conversation and the didn't go anywhere, perhaps you can use the alternate tunings logic. Make sure she understands the terrible wear and tear that constantly changing the tuning from standard to alternated has on the bridge, nut, and tension on the instrument and how costly it can be to fix in the future :-).

I love it. I have 8 guitars now and many conversations later I have never used alternate tunings and the wear and tear ... oh the wear and tear! Thanks Jim.

I used to do a lot of explaining and justifying when I wanted to purchase a guitar or other instrument ... but I realized my wife would never really empathize or understand so neither of us benefited much from those discussions ... so we understand that this is my hobby and it occasionally requires money ... that I will try to remain reasonable with it and sell off things that fall out of favor ... as long as I do that, contention is avoided (for the most part) ...

So to answer your question, I don't feel the need to explain why I "need" another guitar ... and I can always convince myself that I "need" just one more ...

So I'm with you Rick, I can always convince myself. 

You know the funny thing is my wife is a clothes nut (not to mention shoes). When we compared the money my household spends on guitars and clothes (for her) over the two last year, clothes was the bigger share. When I asked her how much she could get if she sold those clothes/shoes ... yup, you guessed it, silence. I told her even if I only get 80% of my cost back I'm way ahead of the game. Truth is I know I can do better than that.

This is it for me, as well.  Been at this for some time, took a hiatus where I didn't play for yeeears ...then back in full bore (been clear over a decades since then).  It comes down to each of you understanding the "this is my thing" thing.  Once that is established and mutually respected, then there is very little "explaining" needed.  Short of this mutual understanding, there is no rationale that is convincing enough when the other party doesn't "get it." 

Understand. Trying to get there ... trouble I got is that "mutual" understanding thing is a two-way!

She has taken no interest in my hobbies, nor does she have any hobbies of her own. She is quite dismissive of my interests and always has been.

However, I am now well hardened to all this. The money I spend is my money (well my pension  ); I earned it. Neither my wife nor our children have ever gone short due to my 'hobbies', and I have never put myself or my interests before them (my children are generally supportive of my hobbies and often share them). My wife will have the occasional dig when I buy a pack of strings or something, but I ignore it. I do not play while my wife is in the house so as not to give here the excuse to complain.

I worked hard to get my pension and I am determined to enjoy my retirement and guitars are a significant part of that enjoyment; if she doesn't like it, well there's a couple of lawyers' offices in town.

Sounds familiar. I feel your pain. I believe we have achieved about the same level.

I'll be honest, I've never understood spouses who are so selfish that they just can't accept a partner's hobby for no other reason than it gives him or her pleasure.  That's reason enough.  My wife makes beaded jewelry, a hobby I don't participate in and don't have any real interest in, but I'm very happy that she does it because I can see she extracts so much enjoyment out of it.  And she feels exactly the same way about my guitar playing -- whatever makes me happy is good enough for her.

If I wanted to buy a new guitar, she'd want to know what's different about it than the ones I have currently, but she'd be satisfied with my answer.

It is a mystery. And I know many of her friend who are very supportive of the spouses hobbies. Wish I was where you are at.

My much better half has limited me to two guitars.  Since we are both retired I can see her point of view somewhat.  She knows my investments and retirement funds only go so far, so I try to be reasonable.  I never tell her about anything she buys or wants and I always encourage her to get what she wants.  The other hobby I have is golf, but there we kind of disagree a little.  She can’t understand why I need to upgrade golf clubs since I have some already.  So I would think we have more disagreements over golfing equipment than guitars.So I guess I am pretty lucky to have her and I would hope she feels the same way after 38 blessed years of marriage.

Guess if I was retired I would have a different perspective. We both work fulltime and the way I see it, playtime is that much more important (for sanity you know?). I hope to have more than enough guitars before I retire and then, when GAS strikes, it will be one in one out.

What has always worked for us (over 40 years of wedded bliss) is mutual respect.  We still try to make each other happy.  Neither of us spends any significant amount without discussion.

Respect goes a long ways.  So does picking a spouse that understands that.

Spouse pickin' time is long gone. For everything that has budget impact we discuss every last dime that goes out. I mean we aren't ridiculous about it but smart.

So I agree it is about respecting each other. I think if I could find her something to get interested in (besides cleaning bathrooms) this would work itself out.

I have the similar problems. My wife has never embraced the fact I play music. I played drums all my life and am very good at it. Always wanted to play guitar. When I took that up she hit the roof. As others have stated I have worked very hard to achieve goals and get the things I want. My wife has had it better then most of her friends largely due to my efforts, I am not in this just for me.

When I bought my Mini she didn't talk to me for 2 months. I specificaly bought that Mini because my son, who was a hell of a guitar player, died on the 13th of Oct and my mini was 'born' on the 13th of Oct. Weather true or not I like to believe a part of him lives on in that guitar. Even with that as a reason she was not sympathetic.

I probably don't need another guitar but the day will come when I want one. If I have the means to purchase it that will be reason enough.

My condolences  MT. Play that mini with honor.

Maybe there's nothing we can do but get on with makin' music and let the chips fall. I don't let it bother me anymore. Sure does get her dander up though!

[cedarkoa599]

Each time I acquire another guitar my wife and I engage in yet another discussion about the reasons to maintain more than "one".  I thought it may be interesting to hear how you folks describe the "need" when discussing it with your significant other.

Other than listening, my wife is not musical in any way. Fact is she doesn't like me spending time playing/practicing. So I have that as an "extra" challenge.

My last guitar caused an in-depth discussion of tonewoods which she found interesting but, in the end, didn't really sway her at all.

Just curious ... how do you all approach this with your spouse?

I say I need more than one because when it is in the shop I still need another to play and I everyone needs a 12 string so that leaves three! When I bought a guitar that I realized was not for me I give all the reasons and or what is not right and  tell them the incredible deal I am getting and go for it!

[cedarkoa599]

Interesting dilemma.

In my case, my wife enjoys my playing. She has no clue of what my guitars are or what they are worth, but she knows how to count. Seriously she didn't even realize the difference between my sunburst Guild and my blonde Taylor, or what they are worth - compared to my Epiphone. This is in spite of me being up front with her and telling her what I paid for my Taylor AND my Epiphone when I bought them (within a year of each other). I already had my Guild. All she knows is that, including my GS Mini, I have four acoustic guitars and one electric.

I have already planted the seed that (after I find a new job) I will be searching for a my next guitar, likely a 12-string or possibly a 000 size with different tone-woods (cedar? mahogany?).

Since you already tried the tonewood conversation and the didn't go anywhere, perhaps you can use the alternate tunings logic. Make sure she understands the terrible wear and tear that constantly changing the tuning from standard to alternated has on the bridge, nut, and tension on the instrument and how costly it can be to fix in the future :-).

Maybe that will work.

I always believe that honest is the best policy. In my case, my wife either has selective memory of my guitar endeavors, or (more likely) she is just not that interested. She only likes hearing them, and probably can't really distinguish the differences in the tonal qualities. This is probably a good thing in my situation.

Good luck,
Jim

Yes! Honesty is the best policy! In the 90's I was changing guitars every 6 -12mo so my spouse could not keep up until.......... the mail in and there were papers from our insurance stating what guitar was dropped and which one was added! My spouse said one more guitar and you can find another place to live! Well since I bought 4 in the last 15 yrs and I just work my magic and we will be celebrating our 25 th Anniversary!

[cigarfan]

I bet you have this conversation often

Indeed. Much more often than I'd like. I don't even have to be getting a guitar. If she happens by when I'm practicing it can still things up.

My wife does not mind my playing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I give her all the money, which she then puts into a savings account for Christmas. If I need a piece of gear I will either sell something to finance it or just go out and buy it. I work quite a bit so I can justify the purchases.

That's the other thing. I have never been one to put me above anything the family needs. And I'm the one who brings home the bacon as it were.

I say I need more than one because when it is in the shop I still need another to play and I everyone needs a 12 string so that leaves three! When I bought a guitar that I realized was not for me I give all the reasons and or what is not right and  tell them the incredible deal I am getting and go for it!

What would be your reason to get another if you have more than 4?

Yes! Honesty is the best policy! In the 90's I was changing guitars every 6 -12mo so my spouse could not keep up until.......... the mail in and there were papers from our insurance stating what guitar was dropped and which one was added! My spouse said one more guitar and you can find another place to live! Well since I bought 4 in the last 15 yrs and I just work my magic and we will be celebrating our 25th Anniversary!

I need some of your magic!

[roadbiker]

Probably  a dumb question for most of you guys here but what's the deal on these Epiphones road biker . Are they a kind of knockoffs or what.?

Here's the short story...

At one time (I think in the 50's), two of the biggest brands - and competitors - were Epiphone and Gibson. Through mismanagement, Epiphone sales eventually declined and the company was bought by Gibson, who moved production to Asia (now in China). Over time, Epiphone's reputation suffered and became known more as a cheap brand, and was no longer considered a premium guitar. Recently Epiphone has been making some nice guitars - acoustic and electric. They have a line of acoustics called Masterbilt that are pretty decent guitars for the money. They are all solid constructions and are similar to, but not copies of Gibsons. Most, not all (I'm no Epiphone expert), of Epiphone guitars are cheaper (= lower price and lower quality) versions of Gibsons. Many of them even have the same name. They are all made in China. The Masterbilts are supposedly set-up in the USA. Aside from the Masterbilts, all of the other acoustics use laminated back and side materials, and I suppose the very inexpensive ones also have laminated tops, but I don't know for sure.

People that have them, by and large seem to like them. Epiphone seems to have a massive marketing campiagn, and it looks like there are a lot of players using their instruments. Epiphone's biggest problem, IMO, is that they lack identity except for being cheap copies of Gibsons. If it were me, I would bring the Masterbilt construction to the USA, make them better, raise the price a bit, and promote them as USA-made, premium guitars. I have a 2010 Masterbilt, and although it is not in the category of either my Guild or my Taylor, it is a pretty decent guitar, especially for the price.

So to answer your question, many of the Epiphones are "knock-offs" of Gibsons, but not all of them.

I hope this answers you question.

Jim

[BigSkyTaylorPlayer]

Each time I acquire another guitar my wife and I engage in yet another discussion about the reasons to maintain more than "one".  I thought it may be interesting to hear how you folks describe the "need" when discussing it with your significant other.

Other than listening, my wife is not musical in any way. Fact is she doesn't like me spending time playing/practicing. So I have that as an "extra" challenge.

My last guitar caused an in-depth discussion of tonewoods which she found interesting but, in the end, didn't really sway her at all.

Just curious ... how do you all approach this with your spouse?

Lucky for me I have a pretty understanding hubby with his own expensive hobbies - fly-fishing is one of them.  Up until now I have been using the argument, well, I needed a 12 string, well, I needed a terz, well, I needed a (insert model here) and that has been working.

Now tho' I've pretty much reached the saturation point in both guitars, ukuleles, amps, and tuners.  My current obsessions seemed to be focusing on picks and strings........  One thing neither of us do is go into debt as a result of our acquisitions.

Are you able to discuss what her hobbies are and why she needs different stimuli from time to time?  (sorry if you covered this I didn't read all the responses).  Maybe that would help her to see why the different guitars provide you with satisfaction.

[cigarfan]

Lucky for me I have a pretty understanding hubby with his own expensive hobbies - fly-fishing is one of them.  Up until now I have been using the argument, well, I needed a 12 string, well, I needed a terz, well, I needed a (insert model here) and that has been working.

Now tho' I've pretty much reached the saturation point in both guitars, ukuleles, amps, and tuners.  My current obsessions seemed to be focusing on picks and strings........  One thing neither of us do is go into debt as a result of our acquisitions.

Are you able to discuss what her hobbies are and why she needs different stimuli from time to time?  (sorry if you covered this I didn't read all the responses).  Maybe that would help her to see why the different guitars provide you with satisfaction.

I think if she had a hobby or recreational activity of interest to her, I probably wouldn't be asking the question. She works in the office and at home (domestics) and expects that of my daughter and I. Whenever I suggest she develop another interest (other than work) she shuts down the conversation. I'm fairly persistent so maybe one day she will find a fulfilling interest outside of work. I'm still hopeful. All the while, it is my intent to focus on my music and not worry about her attitude so much.

[cigarfan]

When I started this thread I was looking to hear how the guitar players out there engage their spouse when talking about acquiring another instrument or piece of gear.

I appreciate all the responses. And I'm glad no one said you need one like a hole in the head!

Some of you have supportive situations and I am envious. It's a real plus to have someone who encourages by your side. Some of you seem to have a similar situation to mine where the support and encouragement aren't there and there is significant push back when you look to expand your arsenal even when the financial side is taken care of. I feel your pain.

Many of you have offered suggestions for my wife. Suffice it to say, I have tried many things and will, as I can, try to introduce some of your suggestions but she has her own way of dealing with life. I have found it is best to back off a little rather than try to pressure her into anything. Make suggestions when the opportunity arises, let her vent when she needs to (otherwise she would blow up!) and generally stay out of the way.

Thanks for being here and responding. As always the UTGF feels like family! I am thankful for you folks!

[roadbiker]

Have you tired a bribe? When I bought my Taylor I told my wife that I would get her something of equal value. That year for Christmas I bought her daughter (previous marriage) a new wall-to-wall carpet, plus a washer and dryer. And I bought my wife some very nice jewelry. I actually spent more on them than I did on my Taylor, but it worked. The funny thing is that now she has no idea how much I paid for it - and I told her when I bought it. She has no concept about the value of guitars...

(that might work to my benefit if she keeps forgetting)

Jim

[joerogrz]

After reading some of these, I'm glad I'm single still... LOL

[Scriptor]

After reading some of these, I'm glad I'm single still... LOL

Quick, make a wishlist and buy up some guitars ... so they'll be pre-existing if you change your status ... 

[joerogrz]

After reading some of these, I'm glad I'm single still... LOL

Quick, make a wishlist and buy up some guitars ... so they'll be pre-existing if you change your status ... 

Already working on it... lol

[cedarkoa599]

Well I don't lead a band but played in one and but if I did then I would want a maple and would put me up to 4 but i would not want that to be my every day guitar and I would not mind a 9 string. If you are one that plays all different styles of music then that opens it up to more that 4 guitars.
Then you say you need that guitar to play for that style where as your other guitars won't pull that off, where they do for other types or songs.