Why I Need Another Guitar

[cigarfan]

Each time I acquire another guitar my wife and I engage in yet another discussion about the reasons to maintain more than "one".  I thought it may be interesting to hear how you folks describe the "need" when discussing it with your significant other.

Other than listening, my wife is not musical in any way. Fact is she doesn't like me spending time playing/practicing. So I have that as an "extra" challenge.

My last guitar caused an in-depth discussion of tonewoods which she found interesting but, in the end, didn't really sway her at all.

Just curious ... how do you all approach this with your spouse?

[Louis]

Ha pretty interesting how they don't understand isn't it  .  I many times want one more but I look at all you guys and how many you have listed in your signatures and wonder how in hell you look after them all ,must be expensive just buying strings for them, let alone the humidifying process.My friend sold his 814 because of the constant maintaining of it. He said the  one he bought was no where near the sound of this 814 but he doesn't have to worry about it .

[JB12]

My soon-to-be spouse and I have similar discussions.  She is not musical, but she loves to listen (and for the most part we have similar tastes in music, which is a good thing).  She doesn't understand the fascination that I have for everything that goes into a guitar, like tonewoods, body shapes, bracing patterns, etc... I tell her there's a science and beauty behind it all, but most of the time she just laughs.  I think she agrees that it's an amazing instrument, just on a much smaller level than I do.

I tell her all the time, I'm going to go on a 5 year plan, where I purchase a new guit every 5 years (provided we have the money).  The typical response I get is, again, laughs.  I suppose I should spend more time practicing than drooling/babbling on about different models.  Either way, she's going to have to hear it.   

[Tugboat]

My fiancé knows that I won't buy and live outside our means. When I've wanted another guitar (or to build a guitar and acquire the requisite tools; I'm buildng two right now), as long as I put in my share for our bills and continue to save money she doesn't care if I splurge on the occasional toy. We both value each other's "me" time and support each other's endeavors.

[roadbiker]

Interesting dilemma.

In my case, my wife enjoys my playing. She has no clue of what my guitars are or what they are worth, but she knows how to count. Seriously she didn't even realize the difference between my sunburst Guild and my blonde Taylor, or what they are worth - compared to my Epiphone. This is in spite of me being up front with her and telling her what I paid for my Taylor AND my Epiphone when I bought them (within a year of each other). I already had my Guild. All she knows is that, including my GS Mini, I have four acoustic guitars and one electric.

I have already planted the seed that (after I find a new job) I will be searching for a my next guitar, likely a 12-string or possibly a 000 size with different tone-woods (cedar? mahogany?).

Since you already tried the tonewood conversation and the didn't go anywhere, perhaps you can use the alternate tunings logic. Make sure she understands the terrible wear and tear that constantly changing the tuning from standard to alternated has on the bridge, nut, and tension on the instrument and how costly it can be to fix in the future :-).

Maybe that will work.

I always believe that honest is the best policy. In my case, my wife either has selective memory of my guitar endeavors, or (more likely) she is just not that interested. She only likes hearing them, and probably can't really distinguish the differences in the tonal qualities. This is probably a good thing in my situation.

Good luck,
Jim

[Louis]

Probably  a dumb question for most of you guys here but what's the deal on these Epiphones road biker . Are they a kind of knockoffs or what.?

[Scriptor]

Loaded question ... 

I've been playing for over 40 years but went through a brief period where I had no instruments (when I sold all my younger days equipment and electrics and my older sons "inherited" my 2 acoustics) ... but in the last 7 years or so, I've been in major (re)acquistion mode ...

I used to do a lot of explaining and justifying when I wanted to purchase a guitar or other instrument ... but I realized my wife would never really empathize or understand so neither of us benefited much from those discussions ... so we understand that this is my hobby and it occasionally requires money ... that I will try to remain reasonable with it and sell off things that fall out of favor ... as long as I do that, contention is avoided (for the most part) ...

So to answer your question, I don't feel the need to explain why I "need" another guitar ... and I can always convince myself that I "need" just one more ...

[Edward]

...and so neither of us benefited much from those discussions ... so we understand that this is my hobby and it occasionally requires money ... that I will try to remain reasonable with it and sell off things that fall out of favor ... as long as I do that, contention is avoided (for the most part) ...

So to answer your question, I don't feel the need to explain why I "need" another guitar ... and I can always convince myself that I "need" just one m for more ...

This is it for me, as well.  Been at this for some time, took a hiatus where I didn't play for yeeears ...then back in full bore (been clear over a decades since then).  It comes down to each of you understanding the "this is my thing" thing.  Once that is established and mutually respected, then there is very little "explaining" needed.  Short of this mutual understanding, there is no rationale that is convincing enough when the other party doesn't "get it." 

Edward

[Saxacat]

Although I've only had guitars for a little over 4 years; I've had the same spousal issues throughout our 30 odd years of marriage. From my love of photography, 'You're not taking another picture of a bird...aeroplane... the cat', to my golf (now sadly no longer a pastime), 'why do you need 14 clubs, won't 3 or 4 do?'.

She has taken no interest in my hobbies, nor does she have any hobbies of her own. She is quite dismissive of my interests and always has been.

However, I am now well hardened to all this. The money I spend is my money (well my pension  ); I earned it. Neither my wife nor our children have ever gone short due to my 'hobbies', and I have never put myself or my interests before them (my children are generally supportive of my hobbies and often share them). My wife will have the occasional dig when I buy a pack of strings or something, but I ignore it. I do not play while my wife is in the house so as not to give here the excuse to complain.

I worked hard to get my pension and I am determined to enjoy my retirement and guitars are a significant part of that enjoyment; if she doesn't like it, well there's a couple of lawyers' offices in town.

[Louis]

Like  your post Saxacat ,real good ,ii share the same experience and your thoughts

[Nomad]

Just curious ... how do you all approach this with your spouse?

"You don't hear me complaining about all those shoes".

That should do it.

[DennisG]

I'll be honest, I've never understood spouses who are so selfish that they just can't accept a partner's hobby for no other reason than it gives him or her pleasure.  That's reason enough.  My wife makes beaded jewelry, a hobby I don't participate in and don't have any real interest in, but I'm very happy that she does it because I can see she extracts so much enjoyment out of it.  And she feels exactly the same way about my guitar playing -- whatever makes me happy is good enough for her.

If I wanted to buy a new guitar, she'd want to know what's different about it than the ones I have currently, but she'd be satisfied with my answer.

[gdeleo]

 My much better half has limited me to two guitars.  Since we are both retired I can see her point of view somewhat.  She knows my investments and retirement funds only go so far, so I try to be reasonable.  I never tell her about anything she buys or wants and I always encourage her to get what she wants.  The other hobby I have is golf, but there we kind of disagree a little.  She can’t understand why I need to upgrade golf clubs since I have some already.  So I would think we have more disagreements over golfing equipment than guitars.So I guess I am pretty lucky to have her and I would hope she feels the same way after 38 blessed years of marriage.

[Captain Jim]

We were both poor kids.  But, I did have a nice guitar when we met (in high school); still have that guitar.  I am convinced that my guitar playing had some part in attracting her. 

What has always worked for us (over 40 years of wedded bliss) is mutual respect.  We still try to make each other happy.  Neither of us spends any significant amount without discussion.  I am fortunate in that she has always encouraged my guitar acquisitions.  She helped me set up a guitar room (used to be her "office"), and picked out a comfortable leather chair so she can sit in there and listen.

We are traveling right now (RV this time, not by boat).  It isn't as easy to just take a guitar off the wall and start playing... so, I don't play when she's watching TV... but, she always encourages me.

I sing and play what she likes to hear.

For full disclosure, we worked together most of our adult lives (business owners).  We play together.  Travel together by boat and RV (spending months out and about).  We have friends who say, "How can you do that without wanting to kill each other??"  Neither of us can imagine it any other way. 

Respect goes a long ways.  So does picking a spouse that understands that.

Captain Jim

[MTLeonard]

I have the similar problems. My wife has never embraced the fact I play music. I played drums all my life and am very good at it. Always wanted to play guitar. When I took that up she hit the roof. As others have stated I have worked very hard to achieve goals and get the things I want. My wife has had it better then most of her friends largely due to my efforts, I am not in this just for me.

When I bought my Mini she didn't talk to me for 2 months. I specificaly bought that Mini because my son, who was a hell of a guitar player, died on the 13th of Oct and my mini was 'born' on the 13th of Oct. Weather true or not I like to believe a part of him lives on in that guitar. Even with that as a reason she was not sympathetic.

I probably don't need another guitar but the day will come when I want one. If I have the means to purchase it that will be reason enough.